It has been about five weeks since my husband and I joined The Rush fitness complex and I have committed myself to get back in shape. Originally I thought that the weight was just going to fall off...and that has not been the case. Despite my determination and dedication (I have only missed two days since joining, I have not seen a big difference in my weight when stepping on the scale. However, there are improvements and I should be proud of myself for getting up off my hind end and doing something for myself each day.
Following are some positive changes I can see: better posture, more energy, more muscle tone (you can really see it in my arms and shoulders), better attitude, and increased social interaction.
To begin with I feel much better, a little sore, but over all I am beginning to get my confidence back. There was a time when I had so much more confidence about myself. Over the years, several unfortunate events combined with toxic relationships and a lifestyle that can only be described as self-destructive, brought me way down. While I have been able to get my head back above water so to speak, I have still battled anxiety, depression and had an unhealthy attitude toward my body.
Some of my readers already know that I decided to go down a more holistic path towards healing my body and mind. I put down the pills, which were not helping me with my problems but only causing me to put them in a box and try to forget all of the hurt and sadness I was experiencing. Unfortunately not dealing with your issues, only makes them worse. Mistakenly I thought that I could handle all of this if I had the right combination of medicines. Boy, was I wrong.
Working out each day gives me time alone to reflect on my life. Surprisingly, it has also given me a chance to have some social interaction, which I have been depriving myself of for a long time now. A few weeks ago some friends of mine I have known for a long time joined up at the gym. It's nice being able to catch up with them and see their little boy and my kids playing together in the kid care. I have also met some other people, some only smile in passing and others who actually stop to speak. It is such a refreshing change for me after spending almost all day each day for about 5 years with my kids and very little face to face adult time.
My husband is being very supportive. Lately I have been very frustrated with not having lost at least five pounds. While I have changed my diet and been doing a ton of cardio, I have not seen the weight loss that I want. Shawn is quick to point out that I am looking better and getting results - even if the scale doesn't reflect that yet.
Over all I am still optimistic that I am going to look and feel wonderful for our beach trip in July. However, being honest with myself means that I need to realize that it may take a while for my transformation to be complete. Not being a patient person and especially now, I am on the verge of becoming obsessed with getting back in shape...accepting that it might be a longer time before I get what I want is not going to be easy.
Finally, my last thoughts for today's blog is that I need prayers, positive thoughts and blessings are needed for me to keep on the road to better health. I want to be stronger, mentally, physically and ultimately spiritually. If I can heal my mind, body and soul I will win my goal. Then I can focus on maintenance which is another subject entirely and we will cross that bridge hopefully when I get there.
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